Walter Reed Opens New Surgical Wing

Amid the growing scandal that has become Walter Reed Army Hospital for the Neglected, Lt. Gen. Kevin Kiley, the hospital's receptionist, insisted that the facility was undergoing renovations even while his ouster was a certainty.

"We just opened a new surgical wing," gloated the General, while packing his bags. "It was an outdoor setting, you know, to save on electricity. We had a budget to maintain."
At a Senate hearing last week, Kiley said he was aware of care issues at Walter Reed but not of specific problems, according to an Associated Press report.
"Sure, I knew that none of the wounded were being seen, that medications were not given, that supplies were non existent and that the place was going to hell in a handbasket." But these are all generalities. Where is the REAl problem? Where are the specifics?" Hell, we just put in a new TV last week!"

When asked by reporters for Rag Box if the General was referring to the placement of the equipment in his suite at the hospital, Kiley became irritated.
"You media types are all the same." How's about I schedule you for surgery tomorrow at 0600?"
The room quickly cleared.

"That's what I thought!" "Bastards."

Innovative, boasted Kiley.