"Pacman" Jones to Be Oldest Cornerback in History of NFL

NFL player Adam"Pacman" Jones is on course to become the oldest cornerback in the history of the league.

Born September 30, 1983, Jones would be returning as a defenseman in the year 2015 if convicted of charges of "Coercion" and another charge of "Tysoning" a bouncer by biting the individual in an undisclosed location.

Since joining the league, Jones has been arrested six times , has been under police investigation 11 times, and is currently being sought for a shooting incident at an Atlanta strip club.

The NFL has stated that it plans to allow Jones to play if he is on "good behavior" within 10 weeks of the upcoming season. Thus far, Jones has a better option to receive the Nobel Peace Prize..

Jones still faces charges for crimes not yet invented, thus creating even more of a challenge for the crazed athlete.

Head coach Jeff Fisher of the Titans had stated that he had Jones "under control" when others considered the drafting of the troubled miscreant "an idiotic move." So far, the naysayers have the upper hand. This could change, if Jones manages to get a grip on his faltering career, whose options are falling faster than appendages at a leper disco.