Anorexics Nervosa About British Report

The International Association for Anorexia Nervosa (IAAN) nervously reacted to a British report that suggested medical screening for runway models. So-called Ultra Thin models have been banned from appearing in fashion shows in other countries, an alarming trend according to the IAAN.

Helen Flipboard, President of the IAAN stated that"...if this trend does not stop, we are threatening a hunger strike. Let them stick that into their twinkies!"

Such a strike could cripple the industry, in which some experts have suggested that up to 40% of all runway models suffer either from some form of an eating disorder or idiocy.

To underscore the severity of the situation, actress Nicole Richie was recently sentenced to 4 days in prison for a DUI violation. The sentence was to have been carried out to term. However, the slim actress merely walked between the bars of her cell and through a thin crack in the LA Detention Center's outer door, leading to a limousine in which she managed to squeeze herself between the front and rear windows.

"Obviously, this sets a dangerous precedent not only for models and actresses, but would be criminals who would be able to use it as an advantage during crime sprees," offered Jim Pressfin, a prison official for the Detention Center who spoke on condition of anonymity.