If I Stole It

Un-convicted murderer and would be author Orenthal James Simpson found himself on the other side of the law yet again when the former football great was arrested in Las Vegas after a bungled attempt to acquire sports memorabilia he claims belonged to him.

Simpson is planning a new book "If I Stole It" to detail the plans he drew up in the botched break in.

"I'm not saying I stole anything, but if I did, this is how I would have done it. I would have completely screwed it up and placed myself on the front burner of every tabloid on the planet. I would have been arrested, and possibly convicted if I did, in fact, commit the alleged crime," stated the affable person of interest.

The family of formerly alive Ron Goldman have already planned to confiscate any rights to the book as soon as it is written, if Simpson decides to do so.

An alternate title for the book had been in the works "If I steal It, They Will Come." and, although the latter part of this choice appears to have worked out, the first few chapters would have to be re-written, as Simpson was unable to acquire any of the memorabilia he stated as belonging to him. Hence, a re-write of the new title of the alleged book-in-progress, "If I Act Like An Idiot, They Will Come."