Lack of Court TV Viewership Blamed on Phil Spector Trial

The steady decline of viewership on Court TV has been blamed on the ongoing (and seemingly endless) trial of passe record producer Phil Spector, who years ago fell off the Entertainment radar screen.

The jury, in its 4th day of deliberations (as of this article) have been repeatedly asked to remain awake as they attempt to come to terms with the amount of time taken from their lives as a result of this fiasco in jurisprudence.

"Sure, someone died here, and we must not forget that. (Spector, 67, is charged with second-degree murder in the shooting of actress Lana Clarkson, at his mansion on Feb. 3, 2003.) But the the fact is, she is the lucky one, because she is dead," quipped a member of the jury before leaving the courtroom.

One of the jury members, who is an ABC Dateline producer, was told by LA Superior Court Judge Larry Fidler that he was not to watch an upcoming Dateline feature on the trial during deliberations. "Juror No. 2, you are now on lifetime jury duty," remarked the judge.

"I thought I already was," replied the juror.

Jurors have been placed on a 24 hour suicide watch to prevent an acquittal.

Court TV frequently finds itself in the awkward position of filling in gaps when juries are in deliberations, in this case resulting in endless video footage of Spector's past life as a producer. Should deliberations go into a second week, Court TV producers have quietly stated that they will end their own lives in a hail of gunfire. More quietly still, they fear that should this occur, no one will care.