Americans Growing Impatient of Terrorist Threats

Enough already with the threats. Americans are becoming increasingly annoyed with promises of Al-Qaeda attacks.

"We're well into summer and nothing," complained a Joliet, Illinois machine shop attendant. "What kind of time table are these idiots working on? If they wait until Fall they can forget about any interest on my part," he continued.

The State Department has expressed concern over new messages and contacts between terrorist networks that this Summer will bring on a blockbuster wave of terrorism in the U.S. designed to "dwarf Glasgow and London," as promised by an Al Qaeda executive. But clearly, Al-Qeda is worried about television ratings as the Summer is usually a season of reruns and the like.

"They may wait until the Fall when the new shows are up and catch us in the middle of a critical season ending episode, essentially stealing the thunder", offered a Fox deliveryman. "If they strike in the Summer, who will care?

Live Earth To Make Difference For Rock Stars

This weekend's performances of Live Earth Rock Stars, hosted by Al Gore, should do a great deal to improve their status in the world of rock music as well as enhance their stock portfolios.

The event, scheduled to be held simultaneously around the world, will highlight the financial holdings in various companies owned by such mega-stars as Madonna. According to files released in 2005, Madonna is invested in British Petroleum, as well as other companies that drill for oil and logging outfits. In addition, she appears to be heavily invested in Nike, the company made famous for paying approximately .50 per hour to young people living in Southeast Asia while making the pricey footwear delicacies.

Fans are hoping that Madonna will drop her affiliation with these organizations, stating that the news is two years old and that by now, she is probably a Vegan living in a commune, and has divested herself of all earthly material possessions. The new song she is expected to sing at this weekend's concert is alleged to contain the lyrics.."I am NOT a material girl, even though I live in a material world."

"Mush-Mouthed" Negro League Enraged

Isaiah Washington, former actor of the television series "Grey's Anatomy" has enraged yet another group. This time the Mush-Mouthed Negro League has spoken out in defense of its life-style and communications methods.

"We categorically reject Mr. Washington's assertion that we are somehow subservient "slaves" to the white man who walk about with our heads in our hands saying "Yes, Massa" and making similar utterances." stated Massa'm Mogumbo, in a statement released to The Rag Box.

"We believe that Mr. Washington represents the current crop of pseudo-intellectual, gay bashing, paranoid black men who insist that our race remains largely repressed, despite our entrance into the legal, medical, astrophysical, and other specialty related fields unavailable to us only a short time ago."

"Further, we offer that if Mr. Washington is suggesting that we are compromising our heritage, he should check into the background of his last name and discover that it was probably not the last name of a former slave owner." continued Mr. Mogumbo.

Amahl Ambosso, president of the Booming Voiced Negro Association, a group of negros above 6 feet in height who speak with loud voices, agreed with Mr. Mogumbo's assessment.

"The man has issues. No doubt about that." offered Mr. Ambasso. "He should get in touch with his roots and learn to speak in a more mush mouthed manner and possibly cultivate a more booming voice. I would have more to say on the subject, but I have little time as I am a one night visitor here at the Hilton (New York), where I am giving a lecture on the union of same sexed, mush mouthed, boom voiced, individuals attempting to integrate themselves into society."

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The Rag Box suggests that the reader avail themselves of Mr. Washington's comments as reported on ABC news online at the following link. Massa Washington