Dow Drops Over 300 Points: The Poor Don't Give a Flying Rats Ass

The Stock Market dropped over 300 points today, but the nation's poor basically went on about their business, collecting hand outs, rummaging through garbage, and panhandling in the few places which have not yet passed laws against the activity.

Of course, millions of middle class Amercians also know nothing of the stock market and do not possess what is known in to the upper classes as a "portfolio". Tom Striggles, who has been an indigent for over 20 years marveled recently when told that a portfolio contained important information about a person's general financial health and the various business and investment activities that the financially educated were involved in. "Jeez, a portfolio, eh? That's what I used to wipe my ass with."

Not to be discouraged, Amy Nussbaum, Chief Market Analyst for the Rag Box told Striggles not to worry. Everyone is wiping their asses with their portfolios right about now.

Russian and Chinese Threats Laughable

We mock your childish attempts at threatening the great power of America. We photograph ourselves with the Dalai Lama and point our middle fingers at you, you lead producing lipstick, toy sending, stinky leather making slant eyes. And as for you, Putin, kiss our collective asses. Threaten us on Iran? We will attack them whenever we feel like it. And just to update you, we don't need a reason. We didn't need one to go into Iraq, and we don't need one to go into Iran.

And as for your saber rattling on building new nuclear weapons. We've got news for you Cossack Boy. Our "old" nuclear weapons work just fine. Radiation tends to last a long time. A new nuclear weapon in what, a new shell casing? We will bury you with our weapons and Moscow will glow like a burned out cinder in the night. You would do well to step down and go back to the promise your government made about the possibility of Democracy, not the neo-Stalinist State you now have produced. And keep you Cosmonauts on your side of the International Space Station. They don't use deodorant.