Edwards in Iowa
With the Iowa primaries just on the horizon, former Senator, John Edwards, Dem. North Carolina, attempts to attract the "swing" votes in the state by drawing attention to the only real industry remaining in Iowa since the shut down of the last Maytag plant. Prostitution.
Driving up to a potential voter known only as Trixie, Edwards promised tax relief for working women and medical care for those whose hips have been damaged due to excessive work loads placed on them by long hours and uncaring management officials.
"My campaign remains as it has always been; a focus on the little man (woman) who have lost their jobs and benefits to global economies offering the same products at a fraction of the cost," opined Edwards.
If I am elected president, I am going to make it a hallmark of my presidency that women in the workforce will receive the benefits which are rightfully theirs, including due process and swift action in the courts. "I want to get these women out of the courts and back on to the streets where they belong," he insisted, adding that "Trixie would be named to a new cabinet post if elected "The Department of Homeland Comfort Suite". "She's ready, she's willing, and able, once her hip snaps back into place, stated Edwards, who hopes to get to know the particular voter in question at an undisclosed location as soon as possible. "We just need to undertake a probe of her background and see if their are any holes in her resume." So far, she is looking mighty good," added Edwards, who has been unable to wipe the smile from his face since the brief encounter at a nearby truck stop.
