N.Y. Giants Head To Cabo San Lucas

Coach Tom Coughlin of the N..Y Football's Giants has given the team the week off in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico prior to this Sunday's Super Bowl.

"There may be some who would suggest that this is a bad idea, considering what happened to Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys, but it is our belief that this was an isolated incident and that our team should not be denied an opportunity to relax prior to the most important sports event in their lives.," Coughlin was quoted a saying, according to a hotel attendant at the Los Milagros Hotel, where the team plans to stay.

"We feel adequately prepared for the upcoming engagement," commented Giants Defensive Coordinator Steve Spagnuolo, some of which might come as a surprise to most football aficionados.

"Usually, an offense will basically take what you give them. However, what we plan to do is give them what they want, thus throwing their entire strategy off balance. God knows everyone else in the NFL has executed routine game management plans and they have yet to be beaten. We hope this will set the tone for defensive strategies for years to come," he continued.

"If that doesn't work, we still get an extra day for every week we spend at Cabo, with two for one drinks at the Baja Cantina. Should it come to that, we'll have plenty of off season time to enjoy ourselves. There's more to life than football. Maalox comes to mind," offered Spagnuolo.

Heath Ledger Death Stimulates Lack of Interest

The Rag Box has learned that the death of Heath Ledger has failed to arouse the interest of the Arab World, much less the remainder of the planet outside the United States and possibly Australia, which, for whatever reason, seems ever interested in the lives of people who appear briefly on film and then become the subjects of TV biographies years later when most everyone will be saying, "who the hell was Heath Ledger?" The question will be found in an upcoming episode of Jeopardy under the category "Deaths of Young Hollywood Stars We Don't Give a Flying Rats Ass About"

The Rag Box has also learned from sources close to the scene that Ledger had a number of pills in his apartment which may have been the reason for his early demise, a conclusion reached by a first year Forensics student at California's Institute for the Painfully Obvious.

A spokesperson for Ledger, Keith Bottomline, was quoted as saying that it was his wish, as well as that of his friends, that the actor will be replaced by someone with equal promise who will also throw his life into the shit can and perhaps become the $2000.00 question at the bottom of the Double Jeopardy list of the same category.

Pre-emptive US Strike Near Center of Table

While the Russians claim that a pre-emptive Nuclear strike is not "off the table for them" the U.S. has countered that it would be well for the Russians to consider the fact that a U.S pre-emptive strike is not only off the table, it's at the center of the table, and if the Russians get a little itchy in the trigger finger, they had better wipe the fingers clean before they wind up glowing in the Siberian winter like a never ending radio active camp fire.

The Russians, under the leadership of Putin, have recently become somewhat harebrained and seem to have forgotten that nuclear war tends to end all known life forms outside of cockroaches on the planet, and the idea of somehow starting such a war in the hope of fending off an attack would be mutually annihilating. But Putin, who had never won awards for brilliance in international affairs doesn't seem to be interested in what can only be seen as reality.

The Rag Box suggests that the Russians keep their former Soviet mouths shut and figure out how to turn their country into something other than the Cubans want to visit.