Mississippi Teen Birth Rate No. 1

As first reported by the Rag Box in December of 2002, Mississippi now leads the nation in teen pregnancies. The milestone was reached in 2006, the last year statistics were kept by unscrupulous volunteer teen pregnancy counters who followed the youths around for months making certain that the alleged pregnancies were in fact true.

"It's an honor to be from Mississippi and receive the title "The Preggers State." stated McKeishelle Quanza, head of the Teen Pregnancy Consortium.

"We worked hard to receive this distinction. I want to thank the many volunteers who poked holes in prophylactic packages in all of the pharmacies in the state, and substituted the "pill" with Pez tablets," continued Quanza.





In addition to the work of volunteers, the state of Mississippi also assisted by dropping sex education classes and terminating counseling and other resources that would have kept the distinction as the Teen pregnancy Capital in the state of Texas, which previously held the record.





The state legislature has tentatively adopted a new slogan for the state: "We Don't Miss in Mississippi", a reference to the fact that the state's teenagers know where and how to hit their intended target as often as possible.





"And none of them other jive ass states better try to pass us up for the title coz if we have to, we'll take the goods outta ev'ry fertility clinic in the state to keep the record," stated Lawandell Jones, a Mississippi teen who is responsible for the pregnancies of no less than 30 teens over the past year.