Lebron James Videotape Siezed

In what has turned into a media nightmare for Nike, the sports paraphernalia whore, a videotape showing Lebron James being "dunked on" by Xavier's Jordan Crawford was seized in a North Korean version of "free press."

Apparently, rules are in place that explicitly state if Lebron James is embarrassed in a pick up game, any taping of such an event must be confiscated immediately and destroyed so as to leave no trace of any potential humiliation.

"The stakes are too great," stated Bill Menninger, a purported Nike spokesperson. "We pay him a lot of money not to look like an idiot. Let's face it, you can't have some college hoops guy do a two handed slammer over his dome for the world to see."

When asked by Rag Box sports correspondent Ted Driftbox if Lebron walking out of the stadium after losing the finals to the Orlando Magic would qualify as an embarrassing moment, Menninger stated that such displays of childishness are allowed under the current contract.

"He's still a young guy," quipped Menninger. "Look, he hasn't done drugs, been caught with a babe on each arm, or otherwise disgraced the league (NBA) or Nike, so cut him some slack."

When it was pointed out that videotaping had occurred during the entire pick up game and that the reported slam dunk could have been handled by James in a humorous manner, Menninger confiscated Driftbox's notes and tore them to pieces.

This account of events are thus considered hearsay as Driftbox recounted this story from his memory. "He just "DID IT!, quipped Driftbox. "By the way, Menninger is an asshole, and so is Nike. Only bigger. With a tattoo on it"

The comments of Mr. Driftbox are his own and are not endorsed by The Rag Box, although the statements are pretty cool nonetheless.