U.S. Economic Recovery Complete: Nigerian Uncle Comes Through

With projections for an economic recovery still highly uncertain for 2009, Americans have discovered that the Emails they have been receiving from the relative of their deceased Nigerian uncle were in fact, legitimate. As a result, the once suspicioned Email scam turns out to have been completely lawful, creating immense wealth for hundreds of thousands of middle class citizens, some who faced mortgage defaults and bankruptcy until Sambala Magumbo, their previously unknown uncle from Nigeria, offered to assist them. Magumbo created immense wealth for himself by introducing the concept of time share in his native country. "Your Cardboard Box Or Mine," became a famed slogan in his native country..

Dawunee Magumbo, spokesperson for the long dead uncle offered that the money had been there all along and he had wondered why Americans were not taking him up on his offer. "We merely needed their Social Security Numbers, bank account information, as well as their credit card numbers," Dawunee stated. He told Rag Box Nigerian correspondent Elston Swedenborg that his uncle became despondent over what he perceived to be a lack of trust on the part of Americans. "He eventually died of a broken heart," said Dawunee.

"We still have several millions of dollars available, but all those who failed to answer my uncle or placed those Emails into their spam folders are no longer eligible, unless of course, they are willing to give us the information we need. But they need to act now, while there is still a window of opportunity. If they will send me $1000.00 in cash, I will personally see to it that we use their bank's routing number to funnel the small deposit back into their account along with thousands of additional dollars over a period of years," Dawunee continued.

"Concerns of privacy prevent us from releasing information about any of the individuals who have already received their money, but I assure you they are out there. It is a simple matter of trust," Dawunee continued.

He then asked Swedenborg if the correspondent had a couple "of bucks" to help get him back to his cardboard shanty on the edge of town (Abuja City). When asked by Swedenborg why Dawunee did not live under slightly more prosperous conditions, given the association he had with his wealthy Nigerian relative, Dawunee stated that it would be unconscionable of him to seek personal gain from helping his now deceased uncle. "Besides, he continued, "they (the authorities) shut down my ISP and I am trying to use a friend's laptop to continue my uncle's quest to help all Americans. I need the routing numbers man. The routing numbers. Tell the Americans. The routing numbers."